Sexuality is one of the most personal things in a someone's live. It isn't just about who somebody is attracted to, but how they decide to present themselves, and what they identify as. In todays society, it is (thankfully) becoming much easier for people to express who they are as a person. However, there are still many people who are oppressed by the society they live in, and the negativity directed towards them for how they dress, what gender they identify as, and who they are attracted to.
I am lucky enough to live in a very developed, first world country. I come from a household with two parents, one sibling, I go to university, I live in central London. In terms of living how I want to live, I am extremely lucky that there are very few boundaries. Needless to say, another person living exactly how I live may have a completely different experience and be made to feel ashamed to be who they are (cheesy but it is so true). Sexuality is not a choice, but I honestly think one of the bravest choices someone can make is to truly, unapologetically live as the person they feel they are, which can be really difficult.
I identify as a bisexual female. In some ways, it even feels stupid typing that. It feels too formal for how I actually feel. I am attracted to boys and girls. I like wearing girl clothes. I like being a girl. It really is as easy as that. I am lucky to know who I am, and I am lucky that I've had time to adjust and come to terms with who I am, and be comfortable with it. I am in a relationship with a girl, her name is Lauren and she's great. We are lucky in the sense that when we go out in the streets, if we want to hold hands, we won't get arrested. We've never had any hateful comments shouted at as. Probably the worst thing that has happened to us is men sexualising us being together in a public place, and of course we shouldn't just shrug that off as 'oh well it happens', but considering people's attitudes to people of the LGBTQ community in generations before ours (eg people being killed for being homosexual...I mean wtf) we have it pretty good.
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| Lauren (right) and I (left) being sickeningly cute outside the V and A |
I've only recently 'come out' to my family, and I won't lie, it was not easy. I have always been a really open, bubbly person, and for one reason or another I just didn't know how to bring this up to my family. I think that is partly because I thought I owed everyone an explanation. I don't have a story where I've just 'always known' I liked girls and boys. I just kissed a girl and it didn't feel weird. It felt nice. Just as nice as when I kissed a boy. That was basically it. I mean not 'it' cos girls can be just as mean as boys and it hasn't been a smooth ride but... I am there. I am finally happy. Not just in my relationship, although that is pretty great, but I am happy because everyone (well everyone I care about) knows who I am, and so far, no one to my face has been horrible about it really. Sure some people take a bit longer to grasp it, or understand, and it hasn't been easy for all my family members to comprehend, but I am confident we will get there. So if you're reading this, and you are desperately looking for a reason to come out, take this as a sign because if you're like me, it won't be half as bad as you think, and I promise if people do react badly, it won't be half as bad as living a life pretending to be someone else just to please the narrow minded people around you. That isn't fair.
I feel slightly emotionally drained after writing all of this, because it literally has been a recent thing (like within the last month) that I would ever have thought I would be able to make a post like this.
Whatever you identify as, you're a great person, and you deserve to be happy. It took me a really long time to believe that, like really long, but you do. And there is a huge, amazing LGBTQ community out there full of the most incredible, brave, fun people you will ever meet!
Don't be ashamed about who you fall in love with, ultimately, love is love.
Thanks for reading,
Megan
